I'M BACK!!

out with the old, in with the new.. out with this semester's notes n in with more tv time!! wohoo!! exams r over!! holidays r here!! .. .. .. .. .. but y m i not happy? haih.. maybe it's coz i know i can do much better in my exams.. maybe it's bcoz i've sacrificed alot for this exam, that now when i ponder back, it's like not worth it loh..

bcoz of this "silly" exam i've missed the funeral of our late dear bro mr koh ting tiew.. also missed the grand sending off of my dear brother to uk (like the whole world went to the airport but this sister did wat?? back at home studing for the "silly" exam!!).. also missed a few get-togethers with old frens who came back for holidays.. n most importantly, i've missed alot of quiet time with God n it really affected my spiritual walk with Him..

i feel that i've lost focus (so much that i'm finding it hard to find n get back on track) but i thank God that He has been wooing me back these few days.. from the lil lil things that ppl say, to the big big things mr james khoo said this morning, i feel ashamed that i let my exams slowly change my priorities for the past months.. i'm really disappointed that i haven been paying much attention to wat the Holy Spirit is saying to me.. ya, a few times i got the message, but i kept giving excuses that my exams r near, that i'll settle whatever it is after the exams..

a lil example, a week or so b4 mr koh was called home, i just had this idea/feeling/prompting to ask the youths in pkgh to write short notes to mr koh, aunty soh hwa n the family, u know, to encourage them n all that lah.. but i kept giving myself excuses that mr koh's condition was stable, what's the rush? it can wait, i'll do that after my exams.. well.. .. haih.. .. .. too late now rite? hey, come to think of it, it's kinda funny lah.. just a year ago when mr koh was still able to walk around n all, b4 his condition got worsened, we youths did the same thing.. papers were passed around for them to write down encouraging messages but it took every1 like forever to finish writing it n pass it back.. forgot lah, no time lah, lost the paper lah.. only when his condition suddenly worsened that we quickly compiled it, but by that time it was kinda too late d (i'm not sure if he was able to read at that time anot, but aunty soh hwa said that they would read it to him) :(

so lesson learnt here, when the Holy Spirit tells us to do something, DO IT!! no delaying, no excuses, no lazy lazy all.. y do we wanna forfiet all His benefits n the joy of watching His hand move? as for me, i'm reminded that i'm only a small tiny lil vessel for Him to use in a midst of millions n billions of possibly more useful n cleaner vessels.. who m i to bargain with God if n when He has so graciously chosen me to do His will??.. time n again God has shown n proved to me that if i put Him 1st, i need not have to worry bout "silly" exams!! but i just cant seem to put it into practice.. so, an early new year's resolution: for the next semester, however bz i may get with studies, my occupation as a christian n a child of God is far more important than my role as a student.. .. .. .. .. as for now, holidays baby!! ice skating ring, here i come!!